The family..

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SouthEast, PA, United States
This Blog is all about me and my life as a mom of a beautiful 9 year old and my dear husband who entertains me as much as my girl does.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Heart to Heart Conversations

Sometimes in life there are those moments where words are left unsaid. They are thought but never uttered for various reasons. This reason is typically based in fear (of rejection, of hurting the other person, of just sounding plain silly). We also hold words in for fear of exposing our true selves, even to those we love the most. I know I am guilty of doing this. I suspect (or hope I suppose) that we all do this.
Then comes the time when things have to be said, they have to be aired or they eat away at you. These are the things you come to realize should have been said in the moment but once again you held back. Last night we (hubby and myself) had one of those conversations. The kind that I cry through as I say all of the awful things I can't bear to even hear outloud and as I say them they twist like a knife in my heart. These are things that need to be said for my own fragile sanity yet they hurt.
The amazing thing to me is that all of the things I am afraid to say my husband can handle. He doesn't crumble into pieces and he still loves me (even if I think I am hurting him). Even after 10 years of marriage he still amazes me. So is our marriage perfect? No, but is marriage ever perfect? Is our marriage worth working at and making better, absolutely. So I will try. I will be honest with myself; I will be honest with my husband. I am sure that I will cry again but it makes us stronger. Us - together - as it was meant to be.

3 comments:

Meg M. said...

Too many people think that marriages should just....work. Things should just happen a certain way or be a certain way. i used to think that way. Wayne and i are going on 11 years of marriage in January and 14 years of being 'together.' It. is. work.
i'm glad that i've finally figured that out.
As for speaking what's on your mind...i don't really seem to have a problem doing that. Sometimes THAT is the problem ;)
i used to see things that the hubs would do that would irritate me, but i kept my mouth shut figuring i could live with it and be a grown up about it. Over time it would grate at my nerves and i couldn't take it anymore and something that is actually so small became a huge blow up. Ridiculous, really. That stopped a long time ago. i still exercise my judgment as to what is worth discussing....i 'pick my battles.'
You can never get what you want/do what you want/let others know how you feel unless you speak up. Most people aren't mind readers, even though it would be so much easier if they were.

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Angela said...

I know this is an old post you read, but it must be something about the 10 year mark because we are going through our own thing right now that can really be summed up in your post. ugh.. life is hard sometimes, marriage is hard sometimes... I'm glad we choose the harder path than the easier path.... the path that most people take seems easier at times, but I believe we are better people because we take the harder path.